By the time the reading was complete, Giles had given Willow his entire book collection as well as some other arcane material that the lawyer had never heard of. Willow had put on her sunglasses as she left the building and carefully opened the letter. With a heavy heart she unfolded the pages and began to read.

Hello Willow,

If you're reading this, then I gather that I'm no longer in the land of the living. I do hope that it was quick, no messy business for you or anyone to deal with. I wouldn't wish that on you or Buffy.

I have a few things to say to you, I've made sure that Buffy receives a letter as well, there are things that I should have told you both, but I made the mistake of thinking I had more time, and as we both can attest, time is a luxury that I can no longer afford. I see that I'm prattling on like a fool, so the best thing I think for both of us is to just get down to brass tacks.

I love you.

Yes, you read that correctly, and would you please close your mouth and find someplace to sit down, because I have a feeling that the rest of the letter will have an affect on you that you might surprise you.

Are you seated?

Good.

You see, no matter how hard I tried, I can't stop thinking of you, of what you've meant to me. How I can?t stop seeing you in my dreams, where we're together like we should have been. I'd give everything to have one night with you, one touch, one kiss. But I can't have that, I've taken what we could have had and tossed it aside, not meaning to, but knowing that you would be happier without me.

I'd give my life to be with you, but I've read that it's easy to give your life for the person you love, but could I live for you. Could I put behind my pain and anger and see the sunset, smell the sky after a summer storm for you?

I've thought about it, and as I walked away I knew I had no choice, that it had been taken out of my hands.

It had been out of my hands since the moment I saw you and my heart became yours to do with as you wished.

I didn't think that someone could ever have such a power over me, never considered that I would be a willing participant.

How did you do it?

How were you able to weave such a web of love around me, without my knowledge? I felt your love, but thought of it as something else, something safe.

Safe from my own limitations, I knew, felt that I couldn't be what you wanted, or needed.

I can see now how my actions took me away from you, away from a life I never saw for myself. One I would now do anything to have with you, but it's too late. You're with someone else. I can see the love I once saw directed towards me now for someone else.

I have lived through this before, not once but twice, and each time, I died a little inside. Why didn't I say something, given you some hint... okay, I did do that, but it wasn't the right kind. I held on to you a second or two longer than I should have, but I needed to feel the connection between us, even if only for that brief moment.

I will watch from afar, as that seems to be the only thing I can do now...

I wish I had the courage to take you into my arms and tell you everything...

How your touch burns...

How your concern for me, lifts my sprits up like nothing else.

Your love, yes, I still have your love...

You've given it freely, and for that I shall strive to be the person I know you always perceive me to be.

I can only hope that someday, in the future...

I shall tell you how I feel, but not now.

My dearest Willow, you are everything I could have ever wished or dreamt of.

I am a better man in your presence.

Your love sustains me in the direst times, makes me see that I have yet to give everything I am.

I shall always be yours, even if you don't know it.

My heart belongs to you and you alone.

You are my all.

I love you Willow Rosenberg...

I am yours.

Rupert Giles.

Tara found Willow crying outside and went to her.

"Willow? What's wrong?" she asked as she sat down.

Willow looked up and saw the concern in Tara's eyes. "H.. he lov-loved me," she said, before falling into Tara's embrace, trying to find solace in her arms.

"I know," Tara whispered softly. "I... I guess he didn't want to say anything. I'm sorry Willow, I'm sorry you never told him."

"You knew?" Willow asked, as she held on tighter.

"Yes."

"You never said anything, why?"

"You never did. Will, I know this doesn't seem like much right now, but I think he knew. He felt your love for him. Don't forget that, please. I don't think he'd want you to be sad," Tara told her, as she gently released Willow. "I.. I think you should make your peace with him... I'll.. I'll be at home.?

Willow nodded as she watched Tara walk down the steps of the building and head down the street.

"Giles... Rupert? I'm sorry... please forgive me. I.. I did... do love you. I'm sorry I never told you. You will always be in my heart, believe that. I miss you, I know you're still with me, with all of us, but, I wish you hadn't died there was still so many things we had to do. I wanted you to be proud of me, of the things you taught. I'll never forget you. I can't, you're so much a part of me. I love you Rupert."

With those final words, Willow stood up and felt a slight breeze caress her cheek, and somehow she knew it was his way of telling her it would be alright.

"Good-bye Rupert, until the next time," she whispered into the summer sky.

The End.