“Scared Straight: Love, Jordan.”

By A.M. Glass

Ratings: (USA) T/M | (UK) 15 | (AUS) MA15+

Copyright: Jan. 13th, 2003.

Second Revision: Jan. 24th, 2003.

Third Revision: Dec. 10th, 2004.

Fourth Revision: April 21st, 2006.

Spoilers: For “Scared Straight”.

Disclaimer: Jordan Cavanaugh, Lisa Fromer, et al belong to Tim Kring, Tailwind Productions and NBC Studios. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and cannot be used without expressed permission first.

Pairing: Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh and Dr. Lisa Fromer.

Notes: This is a small companion piece to my “Scared Straight” series. It doesn’t advance the series as I stated in “Gone”. Hopefully you’ll like this interlude.

Thanks: To Myra for going over the story and continuing to make sure I don’t butcher Jordan’s character.

Feedback: Would be nice.

Dear Lisa,

This isn’t a note to let you know I regret everything we’ve done — I don’t, — this isn’t me saying that I’ve had more time to think about it and I realize it’s not what I want.

It is.

Actually I wish we had moved forward earlier — no fault of yours of course. Little did I know what I was missing without having you in my life.

I’ll never regret what we’ve shared, not a single moment that’s engraved on my heart.

I just hope you won’t.

Lise, this is new to me and there were times when I was scared out of my head. When I wasn’t sure of what I was going through, when I second guessed myself leaving you to wonder if we were ever going to be more than “just friends”.

I know what it’s like to be in love or at least what it feels like. Since being with you, I find myself looking back and wondering if I really was or did. All the feelings, the sensations, they’re different, deeper somehow. It’s as if we’re connected in a way that’s never happened with anyone else before.

When I think about you, which is basically all the time now, my heart flutters. Not that I didn’t think about you before, you know what I mean. Do you know that the very thought of you brightens my day? No matter how hard it gets all I need to do is picture your face and stress — the burden seems lighter somehow.

That, I owe to you.

Speaking of work, I think they’re beginning to notice.

Apparently I seem to have a smile plastered on my face and Nigel keeps asking who’s the lucky fella. It’s a question I’m going to answer soon. What I need to do is tell my dad first.

I never told you about the talk he and I had when I was first working on Stephanie’s case did I? Remind me to tell you about it over a beer, it’s kinda funny. Lise, he’s so important to me and I want him to get to know you like I do.

It wasn’t too long ago when I would have said that he was the only important person in my life, the only person I loved, that’s not true now.

Now, I have you.

It makes me smile, it makes me happier than I’ve been in such a long time and I want to thank you for sticking by me all those months when I wasn’t sure, when I was still searching.

Do you know what I found at the end of my search?

You.

And that smile that melts me on the spot.

Of course there are other… things you do that melt me on the spot, and those are not the kind of thoughts to have at work, which is where I am at the moment.

No, those are the kind of thoughts to have when I’m at home… or when I’m with you, especially with you.

I can’t wait ‘til you get back from your trip. There’s so much I have to tell you… I wanna do so many things.

This may sound silly, but I want to sit by you and not say a word, and don’t roll your eyes. I wanna be able to do that and know it’s okay. To be comfortable enough to simply be in your presence while you read the paper and wait.

For what?

For your hand to drift down to my knee and trace some design. They’re never the same and yet — they are in one important facet.

They’re familiar…

They’re comforting…

They feel like home.

To know that you do it, without thinking about it, without having to ask my permission, fills me with a sense of peace I haven’t known in a long time.

I’m going to end this as I think I’ve said too much, but there is one last thing I need to say to you:

Hurry home I’ve missed you.

Love,

Jordan.

To continue with the next installment for the series, click here.