Copyright: March 1998.

Revised Edition: April 23, 1999.

Third Revision: May 25th, 2002.

Fourth Revision December 18th, 2004.

Disclaimer: Robert Tapert, UNIVERSAL/MCA and RENAISSANCE PICTURES et al, have something to do with “Xena: Warrior Princess”. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred. The story along with any/all original characters are the sole property of the author and can not be used without expressed permission first.

Author’s Note: Hello, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all the people who wrote to me, encouraging me to write another story after I had posted “My Heart’s Desire”. I only hope not to have disappointed anyone. I think this would fall into the “Romantic Friendship” premise.

Second Revision: It’s April 23rd, 1999 and well, I happened upon this story of mine, and I decided I didn’t quite like it as much as I did when I wrote it. There are things about it that needed to be changed, and thanks to the help of my editor for another story which we worked together on for 6 months, I can now see that I needed to improve the story. Let me know if it reads any better. Leapr.

Third Revision: Well, here I am once again tooling around with the story. It amazes me how much I need to continuously fix an old story. Hopefully, it’ll read even better this time around.

Fourth Revision: It’s been a little over two years since I’ve looked at this and once again, I’m changing things around.

Spoilers: For the following episodes, “Sins Of The Past”, “One Against An Army”, “Maternal Instinct”, “The Quest”, and “Bitter Suite.”

I know I probably won’t live to see the end of this day but I wouldn’t change anything that’s happened to me over the years. I’ve heard some have said that I was a little girl trying to live out an adventure, that I didn’t know what I was doing or who I traveled with.

They’re wrong...

I knew the moment I saw her that I had to leave my home and follow her. Of course I wasn’t sure whether or not she’d let me and I give thanks the Gods, to this very day, that I decided to follow her despite her steadfast refusals.

You know, it’s a wondrous thing... the memory of our first meeting. Yes, it was frightening. But, it was the beginning of a new life for me... for us.

We’d talked about it from time to time or rather I’d talked and she’d listened, and listened and... well you get the point. She still thought it was a bad idea and I have no doubt that there were times she’d wished I had stayed home.

I have so many memories of our years together. For example, when I recovered from the poison in my system, she told me what had happened, what I had said. Apparently I had gone back to that time of our first meeting trying once again to persuade her to take me with you.

I could tell by her reluctance to discuss it that she really didn’t want to go over it again, so I never pressured her for more.

It’s so very hard for her to show her feelings, that whenever she does I cherish every moment.

Many will find this hard to believe, but I treasure that time, in that Gods forsaken place. The Persians outside... waiting to attack, while Xena tried to make me as comfortable as possible.

Yes, I was close to dying, we both were. But, it was during that time she told me she loved me, I was her family and her best friend.

I know, I know, there have been other times when we have said that to each other, the ‘I love you’ part.

This was special..

‘Why’ you ask?

She said it first.

Of all the times, all the experiences we have had, that will remain engraved in my heart, in my mind and my soul.

No one can take that from me. Not even Hades, who I expect to see shortly.

What?

What did you ask?

Oh, do I expect to see her? Yes, I do. I believe that with all my heart.

If she isn’t there?

Well then, I suppose I’d just have to go looking for her.

Why do you seemed surprised to hear that?

Of course it hurt. The trust we had for one another was put to the most severest test I know of.

I still blame myself. I should have...

No, that’s in the past...

A long time ago.

Another lifetime, you might say.

We hurt each other, badly.

My heart felt as if it had been wrenched out of me. I had never felt so much pain, my soul had been torn in half. I can’t tell you what it was like to see her face, after we both stood up. It still hurts me when I think of what we did to each other that day...

I thought I had seen the face of the Warrior Princess before, with the Horde. Yet, nothing, nothing could have prepared me for the look she gave me after I’d hit her. It was as if she were saying, “Come on... is that the best you could do?”

It’s true what I’ve heard said, ‘You always hurt the one you love the most’ I wish it wasn’t true.

Hmm? Oh, I’m all right. I just... I feel cold, I can’t seem to stop shivering.

I can’t say that I haven’t seen that face again, luckily it wasn’t directed towards me.

Wow, just trying to catch my breath... could I have some water? My mouth seems very dry all of a sudden. Thank you. I’m not keeping you am I? No... that’s good.

OF COURSE I LOVED HER.

She... she... didn’t want to go. I told her it was okay.

It was... is the hardest thing I’ve ever said. Can I have some more water please? That’s better. No... it’s alright.

We were traveling, walking side by side. I loved that I could see her so much better that way. I was telling her a new story I was working on. We were both laughing, enjoying the moment. It was a beautiful day it had been raining a few days before. The air was crisp, the birds were chirping, it was glorious, I didn’t think...

What?

Why am I shaking my head? It’s just... I... I still blame myself. I should have been able to do something. You might have heard stories about that day. I’ve heard them too, they’re wrong.

I can’t...

I can’t tell what happened.

It... hurts.

I know...you’re right. It’s time.

What happened? Sorry, didn’t mean to pass out. No, I’m fine, thank you. Yes, I can continue. I hadn’t noticed how quiet she had become, not until I heard her calling my name. I always did love how she said my name...unless she was mad at me.

I ahh… I turned around and saw these men. No, they don’t deserve to be called men.

Oh... I’ve must have been out longer than I thought, it’s awfully dark out tonight.

What?

Oh, yes, the men. There weren’t that many. I... I wasn’t even in the fight, she told me to watch her back that she’d take care of them like she always did. It was over in a few minutes, I never did see how she was injured. When the last man ran away, I was laughing...

Laughing, saying, “You’d better chose better opponents next time!.”

Useless tears, that’s all they are. After all these years, it still hurts to think about it.

She turned to me...

“XENA!!”

I ran to her, I saw the blood. Gods... it was pouring out of her. I couldn’t stop it. I tried. PLEASE, you have to believe me I tried.

I kept asking her, “Xena? Xena... how do I stop it...tell me,” I pleaded with her, trying to staunch the flow of blood leaving her body. I was panicking; there was so much blood. I ripped my skirt, taking the torn cloth and putting it on the wound.

It wouldn’t stop.

“No time... I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her eyes locked on mine.

“Sorry?” I didn’t understand what she was sorry for.

“My promise...”

When she said that, it dawned on me she was going to leave me. I saw her struggle so hard. I couldn’t stand it. I knew I had to release her from her promise. I had to let her go. OH GODS... She was coughing up so much blood. I could tell she didn’t have much time. She was using the last moments of her life to tell me she was sorry. My tears were blinding me...

“It’s okay Xena, it’s okay,” I said as I stroked her hair. I could see the relief in her eyes.

“Love you... other side,” she whispered.

“I love you too... until the other side,” I told her as I kissed her on the lips. That’s when she left, she gasped one last time as if trying to hold death off, and she was gone. I don’t know how long I stayed there. I was told later, that some travelers came across us, and I was just rocking her, like a babe. I don’t remember much after that. I can still see and hear her. It’s like she never really left me.

Yes, I think I will rest.

I’m really very tired.

Xena?

Where have you been? Waiting for me? Yeah, I’m ready to go. Oh, it’s Argo! Hello girl, I haven’t seen you in such a long time...

My name is Celesta, come with me, I have a tale for you.

One of a Warrior Princess...

A Bard...

And of a love that lasted an eternity.

The End.